Welcome to . . .
Kendallville Parks Department Allen Chapel
524 S Allen Chapel Road
Troll Bixdraggle Grumblebutt
Oh my! You have just entered VERY risky territory. Don’t make a sound our you might find out why it’s so risky and trust me…you do NOT want to do that! You see that door over there? That’s the home of a very nasty troll named Bixdraggle Grumblebutt. He is the most despicable, disagreeable, spiteful, unpleasant, dreadful, wicked and … why I can’t even come up with enough words to say how outright BAD he is. No one lives with him because no one can stand to be within a mile of him. To make matters worse, if they can be worse, he’s a scam artist.
We all know that male fairies can’t fly. Well…he came to Kendallville and I heard he went over to the local toadstool where Graymist and his friends hangout and tried to sell them a potion that could make male fairies fly! They had all been sipping fizzwiggle juice and I’ll be darned if they didn’t fall for his disguise as a traveling potion doogler! Don’t you know it, they paid him just loads of acorn caps for his Highjinx Enchanted Hovering Tonic!
That Rowley Gibletmuncher gave him his last acorn caps and gulped it down and jumped off of the top of the popcorn stand over at William and Main!! It’s a darned good thing he had enough sense to put on his turtle shell or he might have been killed! He took a pretty good hit to his noggin, but McDoc was on hand to give him some thistle nectar and ice and he was fit as fiddle in a couple of days. I heard tell Rowena was just fit to be tied AND exhausted from handling all of the protection duties herself until he was back on his tiny little feet!
As for humans, well…he has a special kind of loathing for them!! He has trained an army of mosquitoes and no-seeums to bite humans whenever they are trying to enjoy a nice day at Bixler Park. He travels on the back of the swans to the other side of the lake to recruit the nasty little buggers from the woods. Of course, he scams them, too! He tells them he lives in a palace with lots of fresh meat….HUMAN meat!! Once he has them here, he threatens to incite the flyswatters against them if they don’t do what he says! He trains them to fly in your hears and bite you before you see them coming. The bigger the welt the better!! If you’re ever out in the park and you start to get bit by his army of buggernauts, you better go inside for the night or something even worse might happen. You never know what with Bixdraggle!
Only one thing scares Bixdraggle and that is the illusive troll-hunter, Musashi Munch, the Ninja Gnome. Let’s all hope Musashi can get this naughty troll under con-troll before we are all one big welt!